How to win an Argument - THE BLOG
Never avoid confrontation again!
I don't know about you, but I HATE TO ARGUE. I have a funny feeling I am not the only one. For so many years I avoided confrontation like the plague. I would rather give a speech in front of 1,000 people in my underwear than have to confront a co-worker, friend, family member or my significant other.
Just the thought of having to go to this person and say: "WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE", would give me the runs and send me to the bathroom in a cold sweat. I can't be the only person out here that feels this way.
However, something changed in me in 2007. After going through a marriage separation, having 2 miscarriages and then having other family crises happen, I thought I would snap. I went from being on top of the world, to very quickly taking a huge decline in my emotional, psychological and physical health. Two key deaths in my family, a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis and a pending divorce battle? I was on track to a mental breakdown. So many of my friends and my family were doing and saying the wrong things. Most of those things made me feel alone and feel worse off than I already did. And all the while? I said nothing. I kept it all in and said to myself, "It's okay, they are my friends/family and they love me. They have no idea that they are hurting me." Just like the rest of you guys, I KEPT IT ALL IN.
Choosing not to confront them and help them understand how I needed support was a huge mistake. There's a saying that goes: "What you resist, PERSISTS." The more I resisted CONFRONTATION, the more the negative feelings built up. The more I avoided UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS the more my illness and stress raged on. All of that internal strife, I was turning in on myself. (more about my personal story of M.S. recovery in my next few blog posts.)
Sound familiar? There was a point in my M.S. struggles where I couldn't get out of bed. My toes and fingers were curling up and I was getting massive charlie horse cramps in my calves. During this time, I was wearing DEPENDS. YES, DEPENDS. The adult diaper. Yes, ladies and gents, I, Michaela was peeing myself. Let's not get started on the POOPING accidents. That's a whole other blog post.
The more I internalized that negativity, the sicker I got. The more I avoided having those uncomfortable conversations, the sicker I became. Sound familiar? I know it must sound familiar because you are still with me reading my story.
This blog is more about sharing our personal victories then sharing negativity. Here's the thing though. From then until now? I have learned amazing techniques that have worked for me in the art of HOW TO WIN AN ARGUMENT. Don't get me wrong, some techniques along the way I learned from others. Some I learned in and ON THE JOB TRAINING sort of way. Some I learned by falling and taking my lumps, others I learned by losing long term friendships. Needless to say I took my lumps!
And so will you. In this art of HOW TO WIN AN ARGUMENT, you too will take your lumps. But I will say this, after spending some time with me, you will learn how to EMBRACE CONFRONTATION.
I know, I know. This makes you nervous. Believe me I get it. But to be honest, it's easier than you think. And you will also learn ways to strengthen your core. And by core I do not mean PILATES.
What I mean is the CORE OF WHO YOU ARE. You will learn to understand yourself a lot better. And together we will tackle this fear. Fear? You ask? Yes, fear. Fear is at the core of every breakdown we have. Fear is at the core of why we avoid confrontation like the plague.
There is a saying that goes "YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR, BUT FEAR ITSELF". -- FDR
You want to know something about FDR (Franklin Delano Roosevelt (32nd U.S. President)? He shifted our society as we know it FROM A WHEEL CHAIR! Yes, a wheelchair. Again, that's another blog post.
Let's walk through this journey together. When I get done with you, you my dear will be a little WARRIOR FOR GOOD and not for EVIL. ---MICHAELA
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